My muscles are ready, but what about my grit?
The adrenaline rushes an athlete gets after finishing a race is a new phenomenon to me.
Since I started training for this swim relay in August, I can paddle in the open water for 50 minutes without any shoulder pain, breathing issues or general exhaustion. My body is ready.
My mind is another matter.
I have internal turmoil. The river has a fickle current. I will not be able to see the bottom as I will be swimming in 20 to 30 feet depth. Freighters, fishermen and boaters will be sharing the waters. My anxiety has tempted me to try ‘mother’s little helper’ or a gummy.
I know that any form of assistance for my mindset must come from within. Altering it with help is not an option, I must find my grit.
We all know the benefits of being active.
My Early, Calm Morning Paddleboard on Lake Huron.
Physical fitness counters depression, eases anxiety, and the repetitive motion of swimming is its own soothing effect. After all, I am not dodging tennis balls lobbed at 70 miles an hour, nor am I schussing down the side of a mountain or running into an opponent with a football. Swimming should offer tranquility and calm.
As I run through my practice swims, focused on breathing and technique, I hear the coach's words in my head: “stop taking opera breaths,” “quit dropping that right arm” as I paddle.
How do I know when I am mentally ready? Do I have the grit it takes to do this?
Yesterday's swim gave me my first clue. Going south down Lake Huron towards Lakeside Beach, I was counting strokes and keeping my arms outstretched during breaths. As I turned for my return swim, I noticed how refreshing the water felt. My mind drifted for the first time.
I thought about this blog and how I could relate to you, the reader, the bliss I feel with each stroke. I sighted the closest boat hoist and thought, I’m almost to my buoy, maybe I will just keep swimming. As the waves lifted me, instead of fighting through them, I smiled and felt the wind pushing me forward.
Athletes call this the release of endorphins, a natural mood enhancer while exercising. Feeling good is not the problem. Overcoming the fear of the river and the depth of the water is.
My plan to build emotional endurance is to practice in the river. Swimming in Marysville and St. Clair will allow me to experience the river without the stress of a specific goal.
I have already begun by swimming from lighthouse beach to the coast guard station where the current is swift. Regular practice has reduced my fear of the unknown. My grit has surfaced to the top of the water.
So much of what we fear as adults is the uncertainty revolving around what lies ahead. My anxiety is self-induced. I know that, yet it still greets me late at night or over my morning tea.
I have four weeks until the main event. Facing my uncertainty: Am I strong enough? Will I make it? Will I disappoint my teammates? What happens if I can’t finish? Will the weather cooperate?
A joke my father made rings in my ears: “How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Practice, practice, practice.” I am working on confidence and perseverance. These two goals will align me to the river ahead.
-S
Find out more at www.edmundfitzgeraldswim.org and join my newsletter so I can keep you posted!
##