Fifty Years Later
My 50th high school reunion is this year. We were the class of 1976-the bicentennial movers and shakers of bygone years.
When I graduated, I believed the friends I made during those four years would stay with me for life. Surprisingly, I'm still in contact with one or two, but as time passed and we grew into adults, most of those friendships faded away.
We had our share of ‘mean girls’ in the class of ’76. I have no idea if they are still cliquish, but I sincerely hope they have had enough life experiences to understand and exercise empathy.
Senior Prom at the Fogcutter, 1976.
The day after graduation, I traveled to the West Coast accompanied by my close friend Rita. We drove across the United States, camping and gaining valuable life experiences and adventures. We were gone the entire summer.
Certain activities we participated in may not be considered acceptable by today's parental standards. For us, there were no phones and no social media so our parents had no clue what we were up to.
Since that summer, there have been life events I have kept close to the vest, and some that I shared with the world.
As the celebration approaches, it has given me the opportunity to consider the influence and significance of my time here…a conscious reevaluation of how I will spend the remaining years of my life.
In my fifty years since the summer of ‘76, I have learned some life lessons that we should all try to observe…even the mean girls. Here are a few I would like to share:
Use kindness. My mom always said, ‘you never know what kind of day the other person is having’. Rather than be judgmental or jump into offense mode, offer compassion and kindness. It may deescalate the confrontation, rather than exacerbate it.
Mental illness has reached epidemic levels, impacting many people throughout the country. The prevailing political environment affects everyone. Anxiety levels have never been higher. We should all know the signs of an imminent panic attack: shortness of breath, uncontrolled crying, or shutting down. To help them, stop using platitudes. Simply being present and sitting silently beside someone can be meaningful.
Stop rolling your eyes. Everyone deserves to be respected and heard. You may not agree with them, but the only thing you must do is listen.
Admit it when you’re wrong. I recently got out of a relationship, and in our last phone call they stated, “I’ve done nothing wrong”. I was speechless. How on earth can a failed relationship be only one person’s fault? I was immune to the constant criticism by that time, so I used rule #1. It also reinforced my decision to leave. By saying you are wrong or you made a mistake, you are accepting responsibility. At our age, anyone who refuses to apologize may have narcissistic tendencies.
Adulting is hard. While you express empathy and kindness toward others, remember to treat yourself with the same consideration. Soak in a hot bath, spend the day reading, turn off the television and take a walk. Your health is more valuable than gold bullion. Caring for your mind and body will only improve your quality of life.
I haven’t decided whether to attend the reunion. The only common variable is the year we graduated.
I am an introvert by nature. Participating in an event where I have not spoken to most of the guests in fifty years challenges my comfort zone.
Rita dragged me to a ‘Turning 60’ gathering of this group, and one of the mean girls made a crack about my sexuality. I walked off with an eye roll, showing that I sometimes fail to follow my own advice.
I might not be able to ignore my curiosity and feel compelled to go, if only to find out whether the mean girls have grown up.
Life is hard, that’s why it kills us. But we should leave this earth feeling proud of the people we have become.
— Sally
PS. If this post was shared with you, welcome. I’d love to have you join my mailing list below. I’ll keep you updated on my ongoing search for an agent… and whether the mean girls have reformed.
Next time: what swimming has taught me about life.
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